Love 

Funny thing Love.  I am very fortunate that I have been loved well all my life.  As a child you don't notice it.  Hopefully it is there coming from your family, your Mum and Dad, siblings, whoever, but it is only as an adult that you really start to think about what love is.

I am a great lover.  I don't mean between the sheets; love in terms of my affection for others, male or female.  People talk about soul mates.  Is that the same as being on the same wavelength as someone?  I have known many people that I have readily identified with, that have spoken my language and shared similar thought processes.  But I have not loved them. Love to me is a feeling, an emotion, not always action.  Wordnet defines love as "a strong positive emotion of regard and affection". But this is a description not an explanation of the feeling that one has when in love with a person, a concept, an act or even something as a food.  I love my wife and daughter unconditionally.  They mean so much to me that I would die if I thought that would make their lives safer, stronger and happier.  When they are around me I experience a happiness and delight that I cannot describe adequately.  But why?  What is it about these two people that cause me to feel differently than I do about anybody else.  How has it been sustained for over twenty years.   Obviously I know them better.  Maybe it's the reciprocation of my feelings, my joy at being in their company returned to me.  My wife has always been there for me from the first time we realised that our feelings weren't simply a liking for each other.  I have done my best to look after her too.  My daughter is literally of my loins.  A piece of me.  She thinks like me, acts like me (except that she is one hundred times more energetic), is me in so many ways.  I cannot imagine life without her now.

What of the others.  Let's talk intangibles.  People that ought, by any reasonable definition be people that I might like, but not be too bothered about.  They are not people that I have ever met, most don't even live in the UK.  I know nothing about them except what I have seen coming at me through the computer screen.

Let's look at my friend Nova.  I met Nova though myLot three months ago.  She seemed bubbly, intelligent and committed to her principles.  She made me laugh and challenged many of my preconceptions of life.  We also shared similar interests.  She knew some of my history too.  But my liking for her turned to love in a surprising way.  I found myself in an unpleasant discussion with someone who clearly had no regard for me, and refused to accept my apology when I thought that I might have jumped to a wrong conclusion.  Nova leapt to my defence.  I didn't ask her to, she did of her own volition.  Here was someone that I had never even spoken to, let alone met outside of the discussion forum, fighting for me!  I was simply astonished that she would do that.  From that moment on I wanted to know more about this wonderful person who had been moved, by I don't know what, to the point that she was prepared to kick ass as they say in America.  I have now seen her on my webcam.  She is everything I have described and more.  I am so lucky to have a friend like Nova.

Or Sparky who pointed me in the direction of this Blog site.  She has plenty of her own issues to tax her, but she cheerfully drops things to come and talk to me; listens to the rubbish that I spout, puts her arms around me; hugs and kisses me and makes me laugh and do silly things. Katherine, who I love so much that I ache.  We both grew up within 30 miles of each other.  She holds my hand when I am daft.  Kisses me better and gives me sensible sound advice.  I correspond with her each day.  My heart leaps when I see a post from her.  Angel, Cyn, my good friend Goodie who has been so much help this past day or two.  Ruby and Ellie my special British friends who tease me keep me in line and share their unique experiences with me.  Mummymo, who tells me off and puts me to bed when I stay up too late.   Others too, so many.  I have such a deep and warm love and affection for these people, yet I have never even spoken to a single one of them.  In the main I would not know them if I saw them in the street, nor they me.  But I know that I have such strong feelings about them that I cannot imagine my daily life without their cheerful banter.  

"The boy's daft" I hear you cry, and indeed he is.  But these people, through their kindness and companionship to me, their simple caring, despite the fact that we all have very different backgrounds and lifestyles have never judged me, nor taken a negative stance with me.  They tell me that they love me and I love them back.  That's it then.  No explanation, just a warmth and trust that the right thing will be done.  I worry that I may have let them down.  But if I have, I know that they will tell me in a caring and understanding way and will not judge me.