I have a Blog. I have no real idea of what a Blog is but it seems as good a way as any other to wile away an hour or two.
Firstly, I make no apologies for my Blog Title. I am not anybody famous, just a face that might pass by in the street and not warrant a second glance. I have of course pinched it from George and Weedon Grossmith and added a slight adaptation of my own.
So where to begin. At the beginning I suppose.
I am 50 years old. English. Married with one daughter. I live in the city of Salisbury famous for the Cathedral and a plain but not much else. That said it is a very old and historic city, but I am sure that there is someone out there that has described the City's history far more eloquently that I ever could.
What else is there?
Currently I do not work having resigned from my previous employer after 31 years, the last few of which were exceptionally difficult for me and resulted in me having a nervous breakdown. I shall refer to myself as being "potty' or a "crackpot" from time to time. This is not meant to trivialise what is a very serious issue in modern western society, but it is how I think of myself. I suffer fairly low self esteem as a result of my illness but I am working on that. Like many males I love to have my ego massaged , I only have to do the family washing once and I shall crow about it for the rest of the week!
I have come here to draw breath from a social networking site called myLot. I have been a member of that site for three months and have loved every minute of it. I have met some of the loveliest people there. People that don't judge me (although right now there are some exceptions. But I will come to that), have given me love and affection that I surely do not deserve and have given me hope for the future. I shall talk about some of them in my ramblings here. I also have a surrogate daughter on myLot who I love like my own. Her "real" mother and sisters are members too and I regard them as confidantes and arbiters of my actions. If Nanna says "no" then I listen. It is not fair to single people out. But I will no doubt.
Over the past week or so, and a week is a long time in myLot World, I have witnessed a general decline in overall happiness of the people there that I mix with. myLot has a ratings system that I don't understand and have never been too bothered by. My own rating has been almost constant since soon after arriving. But others are very bothered that their own ratings have gone down for inexplicable reasons. There have been many views circulated about what the reasons for these changes may be. Gremlins, Trolls all sorts of fairy folk rushing around negatively rating peoples discussions for the sake of it. I have always taken a fairly jaundiced view of this and subscribed to the maxim "He who lives by the sword dies by the sword". But this has certainly not been the case with several of my friends whose discussions are innocuous, and who do not court controversy at all. I have a particular friend, who I correspond with daily, she lives in Arizona which is almost as far from Salisbury as it is possible to be, I shall call her Katherine, because that is her name, who said in a post that asked if people were disliked at work, that she had a co-worker who disliked her intensely. The response to this from a "new" myLotter was an outpouring of hate and poison the like of which I have not seen since I was in the school playground. The attack moved to another discussion where even the educational prowess of her son was questioned. Katherine is someone that I love dearly and who, so far as I am aware, does not have a bad bone in her body. I am not blind to people's frailties, but badness is not one of hers. So why the attack. The explanation given was that the attacker was the daughter of a co-worker. Which didn't seem likely, but you never know. Rather than wade in and fight beside her, which I was tempted to do, I reported the conversation to myLot HQ and devised my own discussion. This I likened to a walk around a garden. I explained that I had found Katherine wounded and I asked my fellow posters to show some restraint in their postings. I fully expect and even hope that discussions should be a heathy cross flow of opinion, but making personal attacks is not a grown up or mature act. I was and am so very cross about this that I decided to leave myLot for a while. Compounding this were several suggestions in responses to my discussion that I should let things lie where they are and not get involved. There are some occasions when it is acceptable to leave things be. But to me - witnessing an unwarranted attack on somebody that had done nothing to attract such attention - standing by and doing nothing is tantamount to joining in the attack itself. So I have withdrawn from myLot to think things through. There are some there now that are saying that I have been chased off, or run away; that I have surrendered "power" to those that would cause trouble. I don't believe that I have done any such thing. I hurt for my friend. Not for me. This is my protest. At least I have managed to get people writing and thinking about these things. I shall return to myLot in due course I expect. Refreshed and ready once more to have fun with my friends old and new.
I am ready for a coffee now. I shall return later.
8 comments:
My dear P1ke! You are not and never will be a nobody. It hurts me to see that you describe yourself in such a way. Your entire post here is testament to the fact that you are a SOMEONE - someone who has been to hell and back and hurts for those you love who find themselves licked by those Lucifer induced flames also.
As a fellow mylotter, I know the behaviour you speak of. It is unconscionable, but a fact of life in such a large community. I do so agree, that to stand by and watch it, rather than take action is tantamount to encouragement. But mylot being mylot, it is better to do as you have done than join in a pissing match on site. I myself have done as you have done and won the battle. You will too.
The mean we will always have with us, but the good outnumber the bad, never forget. And those of us who value your goodness will be waiting with held breath and strongly beating hearts for your return. Hugs and much love dear friend.
p1key I am so sorry that you have been through so much - I can identify as I suffer from depression and had a bit of a nervous breakdown myself in the latter end of last year - I would never have guessed that you had suffered the same thing! I know that you will get totally back on your feet. How do I know? Because you are a strong and loving person who means so much to so many! Simple.
As for the situation on Mylot - I have been there before - I have seen friends attacked and even been attacked myself! How do we stand it and still stick to our principles, well in my case I try never to be mean , I always try to see the positive and look for the good, even if I cannot find those things I state my case as nicely and civilly as I can and I ALWAYS try to defend my friends and those desperately in need of help and support. I do not like bullies and I will not give in to them, bullies who are allowed to get away with it will just get worse and I for one have no intention of letting the bullies win out!
I respect your decision to withdraw from mylot for a very little (I hope) while and I respect the fact that you stick to your principles in all areas - it is part of what makes you such a very special SOMEBODY!
Just before I go I will tell you what my Gran is always telling me - if the Bullies are talking about you then they are leaving someone else alone!
Love and Hugs sweety and I love your blog! xxx
My lovely Pike,
I feel for you and our Katherine. We are a family and shouldn't be told to let sleeping dogs lie. No one has the right to attack another person. You know how crazy me and Cyn are and we defend our own with a fierceness. You are not and never will be a nobody. You have gotten a special place in my life and in my heart. You are a someone. You are my someone. I dare you to call yourself a noone once more and I'll ask the heavens to rain fire down upon your but. You are an intelligent loving and caring person who has a quick wit and a great sense of humor. I am more of a nobody than you my dear. I hope to see you back for at least the mylot roast remember your roasting me and Cyn LOL!! will we be rubbed or glazed?. Take care my dear and know that you always have me here.
itsrealymefifty said it all really you are definately not a nobody, you are the 'P1kef1sh' you are very special. There are few people out that that don't know me who would have helped me in the way you did a few Sundays ago when I was feeling overwhelmed by it all. I thank you for that and I also thank you for allowing me to still be a part of your life here by sending me your blog link. Keep up the good work. You are loved and appreciated by many. Ellie :D
Thank you all. I shan't call myself a nobody, but I rather like the title. The book is one of my favourite Victorian works. Very funny. It has been a long and difficult journey to get to where I am now. The past three months have brought so many people into my life who have offered me unconditional friendship and love. I am blessed.
Personally, I like the 'crackpot' title as I am akin to that same feeling. I know of what you speak as I am also a survivor of a
Nervous Breakdown. Well, at least 1 documented, possibly more undocumented. LoL.
I am a Leo and love my ego massaged as well. It takes
one to know one, so to speak. Aries, not Leo, I noticed, I just
mean someone who needs a bit of complimenting is a kinship of sorts. You give it, and it is so nice and easy to return it to someone as deserving as you.
I am so glad you found and created this blog to 'draw breath'. If it is what you needed to do for yourself, I am 100% behind you. Pay no mind to me asking you not to leave, it was only my own selfish desire to have you there at mylot to banter with, or mostly to read your banter. I so thoroughly enjoy your way of speaking, your attitude about life, and your interaction with 'your people'.
I have met your Nova, and although I do not know her yet very well, our breif interactions have been the most pleasant and entertaining. I find her kind, intelligent, bubbly, and a very good writer, too. I hope to continue and expand my 'relationship' with her at mylot and/or off mylot.
My sparky is, my soul mate. Not in the sexual way, you understand, but in the forever friend way. We are just linked. We met more than 15 yrs ago and as you say, friendship doesn't have to be every day. We have always communicated, whether we
lived next door or 3000 miles away. As often as either of us saw fit. She accepts me as
I am, and that is sometimes a lot to ask as I know I can be a handful to manage. She has
pet name for me...."Force of Nature". Probably because there is no point getting in my way when I want to do something. I have grown since we first met, mostly due to her tutelage and patience with me as I grew up. lol
I am beginning to meet your other friends you have noted and since mylot is not always a safe place to play, I am stalking you and sparky to find new decent normal friends. If either of you approve them, then they are alright for me. I don't want to be the target
of the trolls either. I act pretty tough, and boy cross one of my 'friends' and you'll see,
but I am also like you and fairly soft for real down deep and need to be loved.
I think that is why I feel a kinship to you somehow even though we have never met, nor really talked much. I admire your wonderful personality. It doesn't hurt that in this day and age it seems to be like picking a needle out of a haystack to find someone
that can spell and speak clearly, descriptively, and neatly. I need that again so I guess that is why I am searching it out. I have that in sparks, but it is really
refreshing to know that there are more people like that actually out there, too.
I also have no interest in the star rating, and not just because I don't have one yet,
but because to post discussions pointing out your chagrin, just allows them more joy at your displeasure, since that is there true goal. So I will never participate in those discussions either, for the simple reason that I will not give the trolls the
satisfaction to further fuel there fire.
However, I do agree with you, that to just stand on the sidelines and watch whilst someone undeserving suffers a vicious attack makes you just one of the cheering line. So it is a dilemma that I will decide how to deal with if the time comes.
I also stalked all of Katherine's discussions that I could find where the 'attacker' had pounced,
and reported each incident to mylot as well as a separate report to HQ. I hope I was a help in getting them banned as it seems
they are not posting now. It was thanks to your garden posting that I was made awares.
I'm sorry for being so long-winded, P1ke, I just wanted to express my reasons for my admiration of you and interest.
Annie. Your comment was longer than my post! But thank you thank you. Welcome to the club. My feelings about my friends are very visible as you noted. I mean every word too. I am delighted to count you amongst them. Stalk me as much as you wish. I shall return, but not properly for a while yet. In the meantime I feel very privileged that Sparky's soulmate want to play with me too.
P1key, I feel very privileged to have been trusted with the link to your blog. I wish I'd had a cherry bakewell to eat whilst reading it - a punnet of strawberries to dip in sugar was a happy substitute. I loved reading 'What I did on my holiday ...' I felt as if I were doing it, too. Keep writing your lovely things - I'll be enjoying them from afar.
Caroline xxx
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